Eavesdropper

Wale Denx

Hyperopia

Hyperopia, also called farsightedness or long-sightedness, is a common vision defect. People with hyperopia can see distant objects very well, but funnily, they have difficulty focusing on objects that are up close. The condition is also sometimes referred to as hypermetropia. Many biological names there, hmm? Yeah, you’re not alone. Eavesdropper is not a fan of biology, either.

I guess while someone with hyperopia may fail to see as his plate of soup is being stolen right in front of him, he will not miss a moment as his neighbour faraway loses his own meat.

So do you still need to be told that the people we have in government today suffer from hyperopia? And from what eavesdropper has heard, it is severe.

If you insist on seeing medical reports as proof, you’re on your own. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to help you there but a simple logic should be able to help.

In the last few days, the government has been shouting to the moon and back, complaining to anyone that cares to listen that Nigerians in South Africa are being attacked and killed. We were told that no fewer than 116 Nigerians’ lives have been snatched by South Africans in the last two years.

Even the African Union and the South African government have heard about this matter because the Nigerian government has shared it with them. It is a serious matter.

But then, the same government failed to act when our brothers and sisters were being killed like fowls in Southern Kaduna. It was when your tataafo thought hard about how the people we put in government could know about the people being attacked in faraway South Africa and not see the ones being killed on our soil that the answer came to him like a divine inspiration- hyperopia. That has to be the answer. It explains it all.

Maybe if the people in government were not so long-sighted, they would understand that if the Nigerian government has respect for its citizens, other countries will also have respect for them. So before we blame other people for treating us like a piece of rag, let us ask ourselves: how do we treat fellow Nigerians on our soil?

What is our reaction when Fulani herdsmen (aliens or whatever our government chooses to call them) kill villagers? Do we give our people the electricity and infrastructure that will stem the exodus of Nigerians to other lands? We all know the answer.

Jinx or happenstance

Meanwhile, if you want to know the health status of our Presido, you may want to first start looking for the contact of Governor Abdullahi Ganduje of Kano State, he will be able to brief you. It does not matter if you are a citizen of Nigeria and that the ailing Muhammadu Buhari is your Presido or not, the Presido does not need to talk to you.

Only the likes of Ganduje and Yakubu Dogara (Speaker of the House of Representatives) can hear him speak from London, United Kingdom. And if you are there thinking it would have been better for the Presido to make a short video for Nigerians instead of the one on one business with poli-tricksters, then you have not been reading the holy books and following the goings-on in the spiritual realm. .

Take for example the hierarchical structure at shrines; not everyone gets to hear from the deities. Only the chosen few privileged to hear directly from the deities pass messages across to other adherents. Shikena!

Anyway, while the Presido is busy receiving visitors at the Abuja House in London, there is a trending matter that Mr. FFK has been helping to spread around, and it is none other than the Presido’s alleged 20-month jinx.

You see, your tataafo is not one of those who believe in superstition and such, but the happenstance seems too strong to simply ignore.

According to the analogy, Buhari was Nigeria’s head of state for 20 months between December 31, 1983 and August 28, 1985 before he was overthrown. And now as a democratic President, he was also in office for exactly 20 months from May 29, 2015 to January 19, 2017 before proceeding on indefinite vacation. Is there something our clerics and babalawos can tell us that our eyes are too blind to see?

Gift and bribe

While you are ruminating over that, here is a question for you: what is the difference between bribe and gift? Eavesdropper is confused, and so are many others, including SINator Ben Bruce.

Ex-NNPC boss, Andrew Yakubu, has said the $9.8m and £74,000 recovered from a house allegedly belonging to him were gifts, but the EFCC goons have been all over the funds, puffing up their chests with pride.

Let us not forget that former First Lady, Patience Jonathan, had also earlier described a huge amount of money traced to her as a gift too. The EFCC didn’t find that funny, either.

But somehow, our Presido’s lawyer, Kola Awodein, has insisted that the half a million naira he gave to Justice Adeniyi Ademola, while the judge was handling his principal’s matter, was a gift and not a bribe.

Wait! Wait! Wait! I say, wait a minute, Mr. Awodein before you go any further. I have to say that I’m confused. Eavesdropper is just curious here, but don’t mistake me for a cat.

Are you saying it is considered a bribe when such money is from the opposition and a gift when it is from those in government? Or is it a tradition for you and Presido to give all judges money each time they have something to celebrate?

If truly a gift to a judge handling your case is not corruption, then eavesdropper has to admit that all he has learnt in his short time on earth has to be checked and rechecked. My people, it’s time for your tataafo to return to school.

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